Gratitude.

They say writing is a way of therapy and tonight I hope that's true.

I don't know how I can let things set me off like I do, but it can happen so quickly and before I know it I am so upset and wanting to speak my crazy mind to people that I love and would never want to hurt. A lot of that has been happening in my head tonight.

I'm so frustrated with certain individuals in my life. I know that is so mean to say. Fortunately, none of them are ones that I'm around a whole lot (Jake you're safe), but it's still so hard for me to shake the infuriating emotions that I have when I think about them. 

I won't get into a ton of detail on who or what is making me so frustrated. Maybe one day I will, because I think it would be a good thing to get down in writing one day. Today (for your sakes) will not be that day. But as I was thinking about them and I was feeling so upset and knew that I needed to calm down (tears were welling up my friends), I thought of how all my life I've been told that if I'm angry or frustrated to just think of all the blessings that I have. Sometimes I don't want to. Sometimes I just want to be mad and have a freak out, but tonight having a moment of gratitude seems like a much better option. So I'm going to give you a full-hearted list of all that I'm grateful for this evening. I'm sure I'll leave things out, but here you go:

• Jake. I am so grateful that I have him for a husband and an eternal companion.
• The gospel. I have been loving this Easter week and seeing all the #BecauseofHim hashtags. I'm so grateful for the Atonement, the Plan of Salvation, and all the doctrine within the gospel. It makes me so sad to see people fall away from the teachings of the church because it's so important to me.
• My amazing sister Megan. She makes me laugh so hard I have to be close to a bathroom whenever I'm around her.
• My friends. I am seriously SO blessed in the friend department. I have best friends that I can turn to like they're family. They have the same values as me which makes me feel like I can completely be myself around them. Some struggle with similar things as I do, which makes me not feel alone. And some don't struggle with the things I struggle with so that means that they can help give me perspective. Each of them are there to give me great advice. They are amazing listeners and I feel like they really care about me. I could talk about my friends forever, but they know who they are ;)
• My parents. Need I say more? Okay, I will. My dad is like the ultimate dad. I think this post proves that he is an amazing supporter and one of my biggest fans :) My mom is a sensitive loving mother who has taught me to always see the other person's side and was the voice in the back of my head tonight when I wanted to freak out on some people. 
• My aunts. I have amazing aunts on both sides. I think about them often and the advice that they've given me through out my life. I hope to be a lot like them with my future nieces or nephews.
• Patrick. I know I'm biased to him because he's from my sister's womb, but I seriously love this kid! Lately when I hang out with him and Megan he'll tell me that he loves me. And then he'll tell me that I'm his best friend. Me and his mom. How sweet is that? I don't know, maybe everyone is his best friend, but I'm going to go with that I'm definitely one of his. He is so sweet and polite and makes me want to make some babies right away! ;)
• My education. As I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for my formal education at least, I am so grateful that I can go to school and learn! 
• My body. Even though running has been kicking my butt as I've started to go to the gym again this week, I'm so grateful that I can run. It may hurt and the people next to me may think that I'm going to die or pass out, but what a blessing it is to have a strong, healthy body that is only going to get stronger.
• Utah. Man, I live in a gorgeous state!
• My job. Everyday I learn something new, and have fun doing it.
• My home. It might be a basement, two bedroom apartment. But it's a wonderful place.
• Snow. I'll miss you. See you next year!
• Books. Especially Harry Potter. 
• America! She may have some problems but we're still more blessed than most. And if that's not true I'm refusing to believe it right now. USA baby USA!
• Disneyland. Thank you for being a little happy slice of heaven where I will be able to forget life in three weeks time.
• Music. Well, good music. There are so many songs that can turn a frown of mine upside down. I'm grateful I grew up in a home where music was important.
• and... Make up and hair products. Isn't that a great way to sum up my list? Maybe it's shallow (I don't really care if it is :/) but I love that I am able to get all done up and feel put together. And that my hair smells good and when I'm in the shower my scalp tingles from the minty conditioner I massaged into my head. It's pretty awesome. 

So there you have it. That's my gratitude list for today. I'm sure I'll have more. I'm grateful that I was taught this little exercise when I was young because it's helped me numerous times from being irrational. It really helps give me perspective that I don't have it that bad. Even though people I love are idiots. You should try this exercise next time you want to give someone a piece of your mind! ;)

Have a great night!

Love,
Lara